Housecleaning Tips for the Out of Work Husband

Since joining the ranks of the jobless, December 2007, it has become necessary for me to learn the basics of housecleaning. Not an easy thing for a guy who's pretty much depended on his wife in the housecleaning department.

When I decided to write about housecleaning tips for out of work husbands I did a search on Google using the word "housecleaning". Did you know there are over 6 Million websites devoted to housecleaning? And all of them know more than me. After searching all 6 million,...(ok, I looked at the top 30), I couldn't find one that offered any tips or advice for the unfortunate slob who, after years of steady employment, finds himself playing "Homer the Homemaker".

Wives were doing housework before the Pyramids were built. I'll bet you they had to clean up after that mess too. Point is, wives have been at this housecleaning thing since they were born. Husbands don't know crap about housecleaning. Why should we? We're sure as hell not any good at it. Before becoming "an out of work husband", I was in charge of cleaning about 9 square feet of the house... if you count my cool garage ideas as part of the house. Had to take out the garbage, but that's a given. Most husbands do that anyway.

Now I have to learn how to clean the house the way my wife cleans. Scary thought. Wives look at things a little different than husbands.

Dust:
Wives-can't stand it...gotta clean it...
Husbands-could care less...so what...

Unmade bed:
Wives-can't stand it...gotta make it up...
Husbands-could care less...so what...

Stuff not put up where it belongs:
Wives-can't stand it...straighten this mess up
Husbands-could care less...so what...

A pattern began to form in my pointy little head. Our house stays so clean because my beautiful wife works her butt off to keep it this way. Now that I'm in charge of housecleaning, it's up to me to learn these housecleaning tips and make my beautiful,hardworking wife happy when she gets home from work.